


A Letter From Phil to Dan

by AvalonBell



Category: Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Letter from Phil to Dan, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvalonBell/pseuds/AvalonBell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello! I would love to inform you that I have great news! I’d like to tell you this in person except but… I’m a bit too scared to express my emotions properly. You know me, I was never really the most confident when it came to using my words. Instead, I’ve chosen to tell you this in a letter and I’ll be home by around noon in hopes to see that you haven’t chosen to pack your bags after I admit this.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, this is basically what happens when it’s like three in the morning and I am in the mood to write something cheesy. Enjoy my late night mess :)
> 
> (Btw, this is basically as if Phil has written a letter to Dan so the "quick note" is Phil writing it toward Danny, not me writing it for the readers!)

A quick note before I began: Sorry about the mess and mistakes. I really shouldn’t have written this in pen!!

Dear Danny,

Hello! I would love to inform you that I have great news! I’d like to tell you this in person ~~except~~ but… I’m a bit too scared to express my emotions properly. You know me, I was never really the most confident when it came to using my words. Instead, I’ve chosen to tell you this in a letter and I’ll be home by around noon in hopes to see that you haven’t chosen to pack your bags after I admit this.

Now, You are probably wondering what exactly it is I have to tell you.(Don’t even think about skipping ahead in this letter to find out either, I will know and there will be none of your cereal left the next morning if you do choose to skip) Knowing you your mind is probably going wild with possibilities. Maybe that brilliant and creative mind of yours has sadly gone south, and you feel this “great news” really isn’t the best; like maybe I’m going to tell you I’m leaving, or moving out. Or maybe I’m going to tell you that all this time I’ve been a vampire and I can’t control my urges much longer so I must leave you to yourself before I harm you. It would definitely explain my pale skin, but I don’t have the teeth… Or do I?

No, no sharp teeth.

Don’t worry, I’m not a vampire.

And I’m not leaving you either, ~~I would never leave you.~~

What I am about to tell you is something that I hope you’ll understand. It’s what’s truly made me smile for the past years and is what helps me get through the day without much worry. When I tell you what I have to ~~say~~ write, I hope you ~~have felt~~ feel the same, I really do. I hope that when you read this amazing news you’ll have that bright smile that shows your teeth. A smile that I know used to rarely come onto your face. I hope that your eyes, a shade of brown that is light and soft like chestnut or milk chocolate, shine in a way that only I’ve had the privilege to see.(Psst, how do you think I’m doing with this beautiful imagery? Think I’m just as good as the fanfiction writers yet?)I just hope you enjoy every word on this paper, especially the words that I am about to write later on.

Now that I’m done writing the introduction(Yes Dan, that was only the intro. You might wanna stop standing in front of the fridge and take a seat in the lounge; make yourself comfortable) I would like to point out some highlights of this… friendship that we’ve had over the past few years. In 2009 I looked at my twitter to find a boy had been tweeting at me(A lot if I’m being honest) I saw that he enjoyed muse and figured it wouldn’t hurt to start talking to him. Little did I know this one decision to acknowledge one of my fans would alter my life forever ~~and make me the happiest person in this universe~~. You were so shy at first until I found a side of you that wasn’t. Then, one thing led to ~~a~~ the next,(more like one hundred skype calls all night later) we had planned to finally meet in person. I had you coming over for the next few days and I was so excited and scared. You had made me so happy and I just didn’t want to disappoint you in any way. Alright, I’m being too specific, if I were to explain the beginning in detail we’d be here all day.

Fast forward and that meet up soon formed into us becoming flatmates. It was great, you started your own youtube channel too. I was so proud of you and the look on your face when you started getting subscribers was priceless. We’ve been through a lot Dan, to put it short. We’ve formed a life together, ~~a life that I would even say some are jealous of~~. We’ve created a world and then built a wall around it, letting only those we both truly trust in and even so only temporarily. It’s **our** world that we created; it’s our world that we have now. The World of Dan and Phil is probably what you think I’m talking about, but it’s not that. I’m talking about The World of Daniel James Howell and Philip Michael Lester. The world that our fans don’t know, a world they are restricted from seeing. And I like this world, love it even. I love seeing a side of you that even your close family rarely or maybe even has never seen before. I love this world in which I get to see your smile, hear your laugh, and watch your eyes shine ~~and soften whenever they so much as glance at mine~~. I love seeing a side of you no one else can. I love seeing the side that shows **exactly** who you are, all the bad things and beautiful ones. Being in a world with just you… that’s what I really love.

I suppose after a page and almost a half later you deserve to know exactly what I want to tell you, although from the way I’ve been writing things you probably already know. I just hope you’ve kept reading and aren’t too disgusted or weirded out by my words.

Dan, I wake up every morning, and the first thing on my mind is you(aside from the thought of wondering if I’d been visited by your sock goblins as you call them). It’s your smile, your laugh, your eyes, everything. It’s the thought of how you are today. If you’re still tucked away in your ~~moon~~ room, breath slow and your expression calm, looking peaceful and content. I wonder if you’ve slept okay. If today might be the day ~~I actually tell you~~.

I wonder if you would wake up to thinking about me too.

I live to see you happy and my heart aches to see you in pain. I want to be here with you at any point in time. I want to be there when you’ve heard the best news in your life and I want to be there when you feel like all hell has broke loose and you just can’t take it anymore. I want to be there to help you, and be happy for you. I want to live in this world… this world of Daniel James Howell and Philip Michael Lester, I want to be in it forever; until I die, and even after that if possible.

Dan, I want to be here with you forever, and I want to be there every step of the way. I want… I want to be the person who you look at and think “This is the big real reason I really wake up in the morning” I want to be **that** person. The one that you can hold until the days turn to weeks, the one that you can trace weird shapes on their body with your finger.. I want to be the one that can wake you up with a morning kiss and put you to sleep with a goodnight one.

Dan… I love you. ~~I really **really** do.~~

Well, there it is. That’s my announcement. Sorry, this seems to be three pages long, guess I really can ramble on. I really do hope you read every word of it, though, I meant everything I said. I hope when I come home you’re at least still there. Even if you don’t feel the same I at least hope you stay to tell me that because I understand. Anyways, I can hear you groaning yourself awake in your room so I better go. I’ll see you in a few!

Sincerely,

     Your one and only angel bean


	2. A Letter From Dan to Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've updated anything on here, sorry about that. But, I'm sure most of you are happy to see that I have taken your comments into consideration and have made a sequel to this! I was actually going to post/write this later on in the year but I noticed I hit 100+ followers on my phanfic tumblr account and decided I'd post this to celebrate! Anyways, that's pretty much all. I hope you guys enjoy :)!!!

_Dear my dumb ass dork,_

_I am happy to tell you that I have received your letter and have a beautiful response._

_You are the literal sunshine, and you shouldn’t be so scared to tell me how you feel in person. If you want a real response; meet me in my bedroom(no, this isn’t going to be sexual, get your nasty mind out of the gutter.)_

_Love,_

_Phil Trash #1_

Dan typed this on Phil’s mac book under his notes. He leaves the page up and also leaves his laptop open. He then takes the letter that was so beautifully written by Phil in his hands. He gives it a long, hard look, trying to soak literally every word from it in as possible. This entire letter is what he’s been waiting to hear from Phil. He knew of Phil’s feelings for a while now, and Dan’s feelings for Phil was pretty equal to his. He was planning on bringing all of this up to Phil; how he’s started getting this new feeling about him. A feeling that he’s pretty sure should be forbidden between two best friends that have known each other for almost eight years now. Dan loved Phil so much more than he should’ve, but it’s nice to know Phil loved Dan just as much.

And what a cliché and cheesy way to tell him.

Dan crumbles the letter up and discards it in the bin that was in the lounge. His plan was to make it seem as if he’d read the letter and simply couldn’t handle the idea of Phil’s feelings. Dan would lock himself in his room, Phil would notice the letter in the bin, knock on Dan’s door and when Dan decided to just ignore Phil, he would go into his room, notice the open laptop, and then come into Dan’s room where he would proceed to go on with his plan. He knew it was a bit rude to lead him off for a bit, but Dan figured the few minutes of worry would be worth it.

Once he settles into his room he contemplates how he’s going to be getting Phil back here. The letter didn’t tell Dan exactly when Phil would be home. The only way he could definitely know Phil was on his way was if he texted him, so that’s what he does.

Dan: Hey, where did Mister Philly go?????

Phil: Well, good morning to you too.

Phil: I just went to a few shops… Is everything alright?

Dan: Yeah, I’ve just woken up. Any chance you can come home?

Phil: Why??

Dan: Just because, you spork.

Dan: Please?

Phil: Alright, fine.

Phil: I’ll be there in 15 

Great, now all Dan had to do was wait fifteen minutes. For the remainder of time, he chooses to just browse Tumblr. It keeps him fairly entertained, but he can’t keep thinking of several scenarios that could happen when Phil arrived home. He also can’t help but worry that he won’t be as confident as he is now when Phil is stood in front of him.

“Just Because.”

God, what does that even mean?! Phil thinks to himself in frustration. Ever since the texts from Dan, he’s been rushing down the streets in hopes to get home as fast as possible. Once he’s on the tube, he has time to think about everything. About the note, the texts… about Dan. Is he okay? What if he read the letter? He couldn’t have, he said he just woke up. Oh my God, what if he reads the letter and ends up hating me? What if he did read the letter and just lied about recently getting up so he could get me home and tell me that he’s leaving me in person?

Phil feels a hand land on top of his which was currently clutching at his tight jeans anxiously. He looks up to see a lady who is presumably in her late 40s or early 50s. She looks over at Phil with concern, and a warm smile on her face. “I apologize for disturbing you when you appear to be in such deep thought, but you seem a bit pale. Is everything alright?” She spoke hesitantly, her voice coming out in a sweet sounding tone.

Phil turns his head to her and his worried and anxious expression soon turns to a friendly gaze. He takes his hand out from under hers and scratches the back of his neck, letting out a small awkward chuckle. “Oh! Well, no, you’re fine. Thanks for your concern, but I’m just a bit nervous right now.” He states simply.

The lady shoots Phil a reassuring grin. “Obviously.” She states simply with a small laugh. Phil can’t help but return a grin in response to her laugh. The train comes to a quick stop and the old lady stands up. “Well, I hope whatever is making you nervous goes alright when you confront it. Good luck, and have a nice day.”

“Uh, thank you! I hope you have a nice day too, goodbye!” Phil waves as the lady gets off the train and the doors close yet again.

He smiles to himself. Even if it was just a stranger, her words still gave Phil just an ounce of confidence.

You’ll be fine. Whether Dan just didn’t want to be alone, or he did read the letter. What happens, happens, and you are completely capable of doing this. Just… Remain hopeful. He thinks to himself encouragingly with an enthusiastic smile. He gets off the train at the next stop and walks as confidently as he could manage back to his and Dan’s flat.

When Phil arrives home, he is introduced to almost a deathly silence. This silence is enough to destroy his confident mood and his hopeful smile is quickly dropping, a doubtful frown and worried eyes replacing it. He climbs up the steps that now feel as if they are Mount. Everest and searches everywhere around the place for any sign of Dan’s beautiful and sarcastic presence to find nothing.

He peeks into the kitchen to notice his note is absent from the counter beside the fridge. He suddenly feels his heartbeat quicken. He read the note… But, where is it? He doesn’t notice it anywhere else around the kitchen, so he migrates into the lounge instead. Once he looks around, he finds the note, but in a place he didn’t really prefer to find it in. He looks into the bin to notice his letter crumbled up and abandoned.

Phil’s stomach drops and he’s sure he’s going to be sick, there’s no way the feeling could be so prominent and not act on itself. To his relief, Phil rushes to his room and throws himself onto his bed, quickly trying to calm himself down before anything that bad could happen. He lets out a frustrated sigh and tries to hold back tears.

Just as they begin to prick at his eyes, Phil notices his open laptop beside him. He lifts his head up and wonders how it even ended up on his bed. He knew he’d left it on his dresser before he went to the shops. He swings it towards him and turns the screen on to notice his notes were open. There on his computer was a note opened and titled “A Letter From Dan to Phil”.

As Phil read through this “letter” that Dan wrote he can’t help but suppress a small laugh through the tears that escaped from earlier. This guy. “The literal sunshine”? That means that , yes, Dan has in fact read his letter, but it seems the reaction is quite the opposite from what Phil originally thought it was.

Phil gets up and quickly wipes his eyes before standing in front of Dan’s door. He knocks, his smile so large he’s sure it might fall off his face. “Oooh, Danny!” Phil almost sings, ending in a happy chuckle. “I’ve read your letter. So simply, you aren’t very good with words, now are you?”

After he’s done talking, the door swings open, revealing a Dan with a sheepish grin. “Shut up, at least it’s not as cliché and poetic as “your eyes, a shade of brown that is light and soft like chestnut or milk chocolate, shine in a way that only I’ve had the privilege to see.” “ He claims playfully.

Phil blushes lightly while letting out a laugh. “Hey, I was trying to be cute.” He states simply.

Dan goes quiet for a minute before replying. His eyes soften and well… They start to shine in a way that only Phil has had the privilege to see. “Phil, you don’t have to “try to be cute” you’re always cute.” He finally replies, pulling Phil into his room and sitting him down on his bed.

Phil’s blush deepens and he looks at the floor with a nervous smile. “Really?” He mumbles, his voice quiet.

Dan smile grows. “Of course! Your dorky ass face never stops being cute.” He exclaims.

Phil looks up over at Dan and smiles. “Yeah?” He replies simply yet again. Before Dan can reply, Phil continues. “Hey, so uh… Can I get your real response to that letter now?” He asks with a hopeful grin and the raise of an eyebrow.

Dan laughs and Phil can’t help but admire everything about Dan’s features whenever he’s laughing, or smiling, or anything really. Every reaction Phil got from Dan was just so much… brighter than what Dan gave everyone else.

“No, you aren’t getting a reaction that easy.”

Phil’s bright expression turns into a quizzical stare. “What do you mean?”

His smile turns into a devious smirk, and Dan is slowly scooting closer to Phil. His eyes lock onto the ocean before he speaks. “I also stated that you shouldn’t be scared to tell me in person.” He pauses, he then crosses his arms and closes his eyes momentarily. “Well? I’m waiting…”

Phil feels hisda face to heat up. He’s knows what Dan wants to hear come out of his mouth, he’s just not sure he has the guts to say it. In fact, he’s nearly positive he doesn’t have the guts to say it. “Wh-what do you mean?” He stutters. This entire conversation was a huge mixture of Phil being flustered and Dan trying to inch him out of it.

Dan turns his head and shoots Phil a look as if it was the dumbest question he’s heard. “Phil, c’mon. You know what I want to hear.”

“N-No I don’t.”

There’s a moment when a string of confidence runs through Dan’s veins. He gets close to Phil’s ear and responds in a whisper. “I want you to tell me those three words,” He backs up slightly and looks Phil back in the eye, placing his hand lightly on top of Phil’s.

Phil sighs, a smile replacing his nervous expression. He shares the same gaze as Dan and grips his hand tighter, now entwining their fingers together. “Daaaan.” Phil sings into Dan’s ear as he gets close to it. “I. Love. You.” He states, his lips brushing against Dan’s ear. He makes his words clear and when he looks back at Dan, he feels lips touch his own.

Dan takes Phil’s cheeks in his hands as he deepens the kiss that was soft and chaste. In response, Phil lays his hands on Dan’s torso, inching closer to him so they could both be more comfortable. This kiss was just as he’d imagined, better even. Both of them just took in the atmosphere for as long as they could.

After about a few moments more of this long kiss, Phil let’s go. He doesn’t go far from Dan, laying his nose on top of the others. He finds the depths of his eyes before he speaks. “Y’know, I’m the literal **sun** , not the literal sun **shine**. That’s what I emit, you spoon.” He mumbles in a loving tone with a quiet chuckle.


End file.
